♡V
Yes, my Fairy Godma.
The Godma who gave me everything I wanted::
- My first computer
- Lotsa Arty Farty Stuff (Including my first scrapbook yo.)
- Clothes
- Shoes
- Money $$
- A house. (You gotta be nuts to believe this one...)
And on the rooftop we found 3 of these really weird capsules...
so we decided to take a closer look::
But it was some 'window' structure for the sunlight to shine into the lobby.
There was also a Zen-styled fountain with 4 trees surrounding it.
(We didn't take the picture of it)
I LOVE the Esplanade.
It's the place where all the ARTS FIESTA takes place.
Woohoo~
Even the toilets have class.
And it's even near my DREAM SCHOOL =)
We went for lunch at a Japanese restaurant called 'Sun with Moon'.
What an unusual name... with YUMMY FOOD!!!!
We had kamameshi.
This is how it looked like before we opened it.
(It had an hourglass for us to keep track of the time)
The design of the restaurant had a Japanese and Modern touch to it.
SWEET~
And this restaurant was located at the perfect place of Wheelock Place.
It was beside a scrapbooking shop!!!!
So while waiting for our seats, my Godma and I were browsing through the materials
*DROOLS*
One day, I'm gonna buy everything from that shop.
All that I EVER WANTED.
So when we were allowed to start our meal, it looked like this::
And it looked like this after we ate it::
(Yes, yes, I admit I eat a lot. Happy? *Sighs*)
For dessert(Ok, so we were hungry. That a crime?), a Mini Parfait.
My Godma loves chewy gummies and when she saw some jewels at the bottom of the cup, she was SO excited.
It turned out to be the cup's design.
We went to borders to mess up the kid's area, then we went to Mark and Spencers'.
SHE BOUGHT GUMMY BABIES.
I was freaked.
But it's ok. The gummies looked more like monkeys. HA~HA~!!!!
We traveled to 'Spotlight' to fine a nice patch to cover a stain my brother had created on my ED tee.
Thanks, Zack.
The patch costs $5.
Well, if I ever wear the ED tee to school you guys can see the patch =)
Turns out my holiday wasn't as SUCKY as predicted.
P.S. Casuarinians, this outing happened on the day of the 6/3 outing.
Yes, I was grounded, but my Godma, an ADULT, wasn't.
And I had an X-Ray appointment anyway.
Sorry to spoil your fun =D
Anyway, don't you guys wish you had a GODMA like mine??
Get real coz I'm not sharing.
♡V
street, going a bit too fast in his new Jaguar. He was watching for kids
darting out from between parked cars and slowed down when he thought he saw something.
As his car passed, no children appeared. Instead, a brick smashed into the Jag's side door! He slammed on the brakes and backed the Jag back to the spot where the brick had been thrown. The angry driver then jumped out of the car, grabbed the nearest kid and pushed him up against a parked car shouting,
"What was that all about and who are you?
Just what the heck are you doing?
That's a new car and that brick you threw is going to cost a lot of money.
Why did you do it?"
The young boy was apologetic. "Please, mister...please, I'm sorry but I didn't know what else to do," He pleaded. "I threw the brick because no one else would stop..."
With tears dripping down his face and off his chin, the youth pointed to a
spot just around a parked car. "It's my brother, "he said. "He rolled off
the curb and fell out of his wheelchair and I can't lift him up."
Now sobbing, the boy asked the stunned executive, "Would you
please help me get him back into his wheelchair? He's hurt and he's too
heavy for me."
Moved beyond words, the driver tried to swallow the rapidly swelling lump in his throat. He hurriedly lifted the handicapped boy back into the wheelchair, then took out a linen handkerchief and dabbed at the fresh scrapes and cuts. A quick look told him everything was going to be okay. "Thank you and may God bless you," the grateful child told the stranger. Too shook up for words, the man simply watched the boy! push his wheelchair-bound brother down the sidewalk toward their home.
It was a long, slow walk back to the Jaguar. The damage was very noticeable, but the driver never bothered to repair the dented side door. He kept the dent there to remind him of this message: "Don't go through life so fast that someone has to throw a brick at you to get your attention!"
God whispers in our souls and speaks to our hearts. Sometimes
when we don't have time to listen, He has to throw a brick at us. It's our
choice to listen or not.
Thought for the Day:
If God had a refrigerator, your picture would be on it.
If He had a wallet, your photo would be in it.
He sends you flowers every spring.
He sends you a sunrise every morning.
God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, sun without rain, but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.
Read this line very slowly and let it sink in..
If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it.
♡V
Women have strengths that amaze men.
They bear hardships and they carry burdens,
but they hold happiness, love and joy.
They smile when they want to scream.
They sing when they want to cry.
They cry when they are happy
and laugh when they are nervous.
They fight for what they believe in.
They stand up to injustice.
They don't take "no" for an answer
when they believe there is a better solution.
They go without so their family can have.
They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.
They love unconditionally.
They cry when their children excel
and cheer when their friends get awards.
They are happy when they hear about
a birth or a wedding.
Their hearts break when a friend dies.
They grieve at the loss of a family member,
yet they are strong when they
think there is no strength left.
They know that a hug and a kiss
can heal a broken heart.
Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.
They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you
to show how much they care about you.
The heart of a woman is what
makes the world keep turning. They bring joy, hope and love.
They have the compassion and ideas.
They give moral support to their
family and friends.
Women have vital things to say
and everything to give.
HOWEVER, IF THERE IS ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,
IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.
♡V
Chuang qian ming yue guang
Yu shi di shang shuang
Ju tou wang ming yue
Di tou shi gu xiang
(English Version)
The moon light is pouring down on my bedside
Like white frost spreading on the ground
I look up the bright round moon in the sky
And lower my head thinking of my dear hometown
(Singlish [Phua Chu Kang] Version)
Bedfront Moon Bright Bright
Think Is Floor White White
Lift Head See Moon Moon
Bow Head Miss Home Home...
(Ah-Beng Version)
Bedfront Orr Pi Sai (pick nose)
Think Think Go Pang Sai
Pick Up Tai Gor Tai (handphone)
BS While Lau Sai
(Latest Reservist Army Version)
Bedfront Lau Bark Sai (tears drop)
Think 'bout Exercise(reservist mobilization)
Drop Dead Look to Sky (run until no breathe)
Tong Kor Sia Lang Zai? (my heartache nobody knows)
(Osama version)
No friend at my side
Think think Bush will fight
Lift head but where to hide?
This time sure will die?
(Bush version)
Can't sleep since that night
Think think where he hide?
Bomb bomb friends will die
No choice go fly kite...
♡V
♡V
Hey everyone!!!
I haven't posted for long...
Thanks to Mandy.
Why?
A typical conversation with Mandy--
H20verdose::
You Bored?
Vicki-Wiki::
What if I am?
H20verdose::
Well, you can make a DP for me :D
-.-||
Yea, I've been spending the holidays tryna::
- Fill my scrapbook
- Doing theory homework
- Using the computer
- Getting FATTER
- Doing DPs for me... and MANDY
- Sian-ing
- Playing my PSP
- Listening to songs
- Staying up till 3
- Watching lotsa new stuff on Youtube
I just finished all of AH homework today.
YAY!!!!
And I'm now addicted.
Officially addicted to::
- Soppy Dramas
- Making DPs
- Sleeping EARLY in the morning
- Waking up LATE
- My dearest iPod =)
Made this during the BBQ.
Heard it was a total fluke yo.
Made this coz my 'Act Cute' Friend WJ (ex-classmate) inspired me to.
Made one for her too::
(See? It even has STARS on it... so 'cute'...*shudders*)
And then Mandy wanted me to make a DP for her...
As long as it was related to music then it would be ok...
So I made this::
Then I decided to include her name::
And since Me0w wanted her DP I made one for her too...
And finally for me =)
Oh ya, I made other pictures too...
For Marilyn, Shannon, and I made an acoustic guitar for Mandy...
I shall upload the other pictures randomly on the next post so it's not too much of a bother...
Well, it's too late to say Happy Hols now.
So yeah.
(P.S. Mandy, only ONE DP for your birthday. ONLY 1!!!!)
♡V
A woman, who was pregnant with twins, got into a car accident and went into a coma... She was rushed to the hospital where doctors delivered her twins to save them. But as she was in a coma and her husband was overseas on business, her brother was the only one present to name her children.
When she came out of the coma, hours after arriving at the hospital and found out that her brother had named the twins, she was very worried. Her brother was not very bright, and she didn't think he would have done a very good job of choosing her kids' names.
When he came in to see her she asked, "So what names did you choose for my children?"
He replied, "The first born was a girl."
"Oh," started the woman, "and what did you name her??"
"Denise," answered her brother.
The woman was very surprised, and very pleased, "Hey, that's not half bad!" She exclaimed to her brother. "And what did you name the second child?" She waited excitedly to hear the name her brother had chosen for the other child.
"Well, the next born was a boy," her brother informed her.
"Yes, and what did you name him??" inquired the woman.
Replied the brother, "Denephew."
But Denephew is a pretty unique name.
I shall name my nephew that =D
♡V
Benji Schwimmer and Heidi Groskreutz in 1989
Benji Schwimmer and Heidi Groskreutz in 1995
Benji Schwimmer and Heidi Groskreutz in 2001
This is Benji Schwimmer after he is announced Champion on So You Think You Can Dance 2.
With his sister Lacey Schwimmer at the Auditions of So You Think You Can DAnce 3.
♡V
Holidays SUCK.
I HATE HOMEWORK.
Shortest post ever.
BYE.
♡V
Read them.
I posted them in black and white so that you guys wouldn't go blind.
This is my 11th pots in 3 hours.
YAY!
Peace =)
So START readin' and scrollin'!
♡V
FIVE RULES FOR MEN TO FOLLOW TO A HAPPY LIFE:
1. It's important to have a woman, who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
2. It's important to have a woman, who can make you laugh.
3. It's important to have a woman, who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.
4. It's important to have a woman, who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
5. It's very, very important that these four women do not know each othe♡V
Scenario: Jack pulls into school parking lot with rifle in gun rack.
1956 - Vice Principal comes over, takes a look at Jack's rifle, goes to his car and gets his to show Jack.
2006 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Jack hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers.
++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.
1956 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up best friends. Nobody goes to jail, nobody arrested, nobody expelled.
2006 - Police called, SWAT team arrives, arrests Johnny and Mark. Charge them with assault, both expelled even though Johnny started it.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Jeffrey won't be still in class, disrupts other students.
1956 - Jeffrey sent to office and given a good paddling by Principal. Sits still in class.
2006 - Jeffrey given huge doses of Ritalin. Becomes a zombie. School gets extra money from state because Jeffrey has a disability.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his father's car and his Dad gives him a whipping.
1956 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
2006 - Billy's Dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy removed to foster care and joins a gang. Billy's sister is told by state psychologist that she remembers being abused herself and their Dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has affair with psychologist.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Mark gets a headache and takes some headache medicine to school.
1956 - Mark shares headache medicine with Principal out on the smoking dock.
2006 - Police called, Mark expelled from school for drug violations. Car searched for drugs and weapons.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Mary turns up pregnant.
1956 - 5 High School Boys leave town. Mary does her senior year at a special school for expectant mothers.
2006 - Middle School Counselor calls Planned Parenthood, who notifies the ACLU. Mary is driven to the next state over and gets an abortion without her parent's consent or knowledge Mary given condoms and told to be more careful next time.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Pedro fails high school English.
1956: Pedro goes to summer school, passes English, goes to college.
2006 : Pedro's cause is taken up by state democratic party. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English banned from core curriculum. Pedro given diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he can't speak English. ( but wait... Pedro brings 28 of his bro and sisters, cousins, uncles and aunts over the border... ILLEGALLY... starts his own lawn business and ends up becoming rich taking care of classmates' estates, finally buying his OWN mansion and living the GOOD life in AMERICA!)
+++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the 4th of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle, blows up a red ant bed.
1956 - Ants die.
2006 - BATF, Homeland Security, FBI called. Johnny charged with domestic terrorism, FBI investigates parents, siblings removed from home, computers confiscated, Johnny's Dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
+++++++++++++++++++++
Scenario: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary, hugs him to comfort him.
1956 - In a short time Johnny feels better and goes on playing.
2006 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison.
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Is something wrong here?
♡V
The pastor entered his donkey in a race and won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered in another race and it won again
The local paper read:
PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.
The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in any more races.
The next day the local paper headline read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES THE PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, Posted the following headline:
NUN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN. The Bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey so she sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the Bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the high plains where it could run free.
The next day the headlines read:
NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
Alas ... The Bishop was buried the next day.
♡V
Gee, I'm starting to like the 90's. =)
Ms. Suzie had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell, (ding-ding)
Ms. Suzie went to heaven and the steamboat went to-
hello operator,
please give me number nine,
and if you disconnect me I will chop off your-
behind the fridgerator,
there was a piece of glass,
miss suzie sat upon it and it went straight up her-
ask me no more questions,
please tell me no more lies,
the boys are in the bathroom,
zipping up their-
flies are in the courtyard,
bees are in the park,
the boys and girls are kissing in the
dark dark dark!
♡V
You can copy this into your Friendster/ MySpace thingy.
Like, whatever you want, dude.
Don't you dare lie.
I'm SO NOT
(x)=yes
(-)=No
You're a 90's kid if:
(x)You can finish this [ice ice _ _ _ _ ]
You remember watching:
(-)-Doug
(-)-Ren & Stimpy
(x)-Pinky and the Brain
(-)-AAAAAAAH Real Monsters!
(x)-Rockos modern Life.
(x)-Cow & Chicken
(x)You've ever ended a sentence with the word "PSYCHE!"
(-)You just cant resist finishing this . . . "Iiiiiiin west philidelphia born and raised . . ."
You remember:
(x)-TGIF
(-)-Step by Step
(-)-Family Matters
(x)-Dinosaurs
(-)-Boy Meets World.
(x)You remember when it was actually worth getting up early on a Saturday to watch cartoons.
(-)You got super excited when it was Oregon Trail day in computer class at school.
(x)You remember reading "Goosebumps"
(x)You took plastic cartoon lunch boxes to school.
(-)You still get the urge to say "NOT" after (almost) every sentence . . . not
when everything was settled by:
(x)-scissors, paper, stone
(x)-bubble gum bubble gum in a dish
(-)-daddy had a donkey inky binky bonky.
(-)Inka binka bottle of inka
(x)When cops and robbers was a daily activity.
(x)Having a pool in your backyard was a rare commodity
(x)when we played Hide and go seek until our legs grew numb.
(-)when we used to obey our parents
(x)You used to listen to the radio all day long just to record your FAVORITE song of ALL time.
(-)"Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?" was both a game and a TV game show.
(-)Captain Planet. He's our Hero.
(x)You knew that Kimberly, the pink ranger, and Tommy, the white ranger, were meant to be together.
(x)All the good games are 2d!!!!
(x)You always wanted to send in a tape to America's Funniest Home Videos . . . but never taped anything funny.
(x)You remember watching Home Alone 1, 2 , and 3 . . . and tried to pull the pranks on "intruders"
You remember watching:
(x)-The Magic School Bus
(-)-Wishbone
(-)-Reading Rainbow on PBS.
(x)You remember when Yo-Yos were cool.
Board games were
(x)-snakes and ladders
(x)-candy land
(-)back off buzzard
(-)dont wake daddy
(-)guess who
(-)You remember those Where's Waldo books.
(x)You remember eating Warheads.
You remember watching:
(x)-the 1st Batman
(x)-Aladdin
(x)-Ninja Turtles
(-)-3 Ninjas movies.
(x)You remember Ring Pops.
(x)You remember the need to own an adidas jacket and clompy skate shoes.
(-)You remember drinking Surge, and Tang.
(-)Oh, oh, oh! and JOSTA!!!
(x)If you remember when every thing was "da BOMB!"
(-)and you knew what to do when someone held out their fist and said "give me bumps"
(-)When they made the new lunchables so that you could make pizza AND tacos.
(x)You remember boom boxes vs. cd players.
(x)Making those little paper cootie catcher things, and then predicting your life with them.
(x)You played and/or collected "Pogs" :)
(x)You had at least one Tamagotchi, GigaPet, or Nano and brought it everywhere.
(x). . . Furbies (yes, we hated them THEN, too).
(x)bright lights were SO in
(x)You haven't always had a computer, and it was cool to have the internet.
(-)And Windows 95 was the best.
(x)You watched the original cartoons of Rugrats, Power Rangers, and Ninja Turtles.
(-)Michael Jordan was a king.
(-)YIKES pencils and erasers were the stuff!
(-)All your school supplies were "Lisa Frank" brand.
(x)You remember when the new Beanie Babies and Talking Elmo were always sold out.
(-)You collected those Beanie Babies.
(x)Carebears
(-)Gak was the coolest stuff invented.
(-)Lambchop's song never ended.
(x)The old dollar bills.
(x)Silver dollars, which were cool to have.
(-)You remember a time before the WB.
(-)You collected all the Troll dolls
(x)If you even know what an original walkman is.
(x)You remember wanting to sit on the orange Nickelodeon couch.
(x)You've gotten creeped out by "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
(-)You know the Macarena by heart.
(x)"Talk to the hand" . . . enough said
(x)You always said, "Then why don't you marry it!"
(-)You went to McDonald's to play in the playplace.
(x)You remember playing on merry go rounds at the playground.
(x)Before the MySpace frenzy . . .
(x)Before the Internet & text messaging . . .
(x)Before Sidekicks & iPods . . .
(x)Before PlayStation2 or X-BOX . . .
(x)Before Cybercafes . . .
(x)Back when you put off the 5 hours of homework you had every night.
(x)When light up sneakers were cool.
(x)When you rented VHS tapes, not DVDs.
(-)When gas was $0.95 a gallon & Caller ID was a new thing.
(x)When we recorded stuff on VCRs.
(x)When the spice girls were cool.
(-)The rise of boybands.
(-)When starwars was still cool
(x)When we called the radio station to request songs to hear off of our walkman.
(x)When checking out drawing books and that one book about the rainbow fish from the library was THE cool thing to do.
(x)You had/wanted/loved slap braclets!
Way back.
Before we realized all this would eventually disappear.
Who would have thought you'd miss the 90's so much!!!!!
Come to think about it, RETRO isn't so bad after all =)
I LOVE BELL-BOTTOMS.
♡V
Typical macho man marries typical good-looking woman and after the wedding,
he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want and at what time I want and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a great dinner to be on table unless I tell you that I won't be home for dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want with my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my rules! Any comments?"
His new bride says, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that there will be sex here at seven o'clock every night whether you're here or not."
(SHE'S GOOD!)
************************************
Marriage (Part II)
Husband and wife have a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding anniversary!
The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever "
"Yeah?" she replies.
"When you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads: "Here Lies My Husband Stiff At Last"
(HE ASKED FOR IT!)
******************************
Marriage (Part III)
Husband (a doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table.
Husband gets up in a rage and says, "You're no good in bed either!" and storms out of the house.
After sometime, he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and rings her up.
She comes to the phone after many rings, and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"
She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"
She says, "Getting a second opinion!"
(YEP, HE HAD THAT ONE COMING, TOO!)
******************************************
Marriage (Part IV)
A man has six children and is very proud of his achievements.
He is so proud of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six" in spite of her objections.
One night, they go to a party.
The man decides that it's time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as well.
He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home 'Mother of Six?'
His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion, shouts right back,
"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."
(DITTO!)
**************************************
Marriage (Part V)- The Silent Treatment
A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.
Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.
Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM."
He left it where he knew she would find it.
The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight.
Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.
The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM. Wake up."
Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.
God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece.
♡V
Angels, Explained by children
Sarah, 7 " I only know the names of two angels. Hark and Harold."
Gregory, 5 "Everybody's got it all wrong. Angels don't wear halos anymore. I forget why, but scientists are working on it."
Olive, 9 "It's not easy to become an angel! First, you die. Then you go to heaven, then there's still the flight training to go through. And then you got to agree to wear those angel clothes."
Matthew, 9 "Angels work for God and watch over kids when God has to go do something else."
Mitchell, 7 "My guardian angel helps me with math, but he's not much good for science."
Henry, 8 "Angels don't eat, but they drink milk from Holy Cows!!!."
Jack, 6 "Angels talk all the way while they're flying you up to heaven. The main subject is where you went wrong before you got dead."
Daniel, 9 "When an angel gets mad, he takes a deep breath and counts to ten. And when he lets out his breath, somewhere there's a tornado."
Reagan, 10 "Angels have a lot to do and they keep very busy. If you lose a tooth, an angel comes in through your window and leaves money under your pillow. Then when it gets cold, angels go north for the Winter."
Sara, 6 "Angels live in cloud houses made by God and his son, who's a very good carpenter."
Jared , 8 "All angels are girls because they gotta wear dresses and boys didn't go for it."
Antonio, 9 "My angel is my grandma who died last year. She got a big head start on helping me while she was still down here on earth."
Katelynn, 9 "Some of the angels are in charge of helping heal sick animals and pets. And if they don't make the animals get better, they help the child get over it."
Vicki, 8 "What I don't get about angels is why, when someone is in love, they shoot arrows at them."
♡V
These are from a book called "Disorder in the American Courts." They are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and now published by court reporters who endured the torment of staying calm while these exchanges were actually taking place.
Q: Are you sexually active? A: No, I just lie there.
Q: What is your date of birth? A: July 15th. Q: What year? A: Every year.
Q: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact? A: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
Q: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all? A: Yes. Q: And in what ways does it affect your memory? A: I forget. Q: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
Q: How old is your son, the one living with you? A: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which. Q: How long has he lived with you? A: Forty-five years.
Q: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he woke up that morning? A: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?" Q: And why did that upset you? A: My name is Susan.
Q: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in voodoo or the occult? A: We both do. Q: Voodoo? A: We do. Q: You do? A: Yes, voodoo.
Q: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning? A: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he?
Q: Were you present when your picture was taken?
Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th? A: Yes. Q: And what were you doing at that time?
Q: She had three children, right? A: Yes. Q: How many were boys? A: None. Q: Were there any girls?
Q: How was your first marriage terminated? A: By death. Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: Can you describe the individual? A: He was about medium height and had a beard. Q: Was this a male, or a female?
Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney? A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
Q: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people? A: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
Q: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to? A: Oral.
Q: Do you recall the time that you examined the body? A: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m. Q: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time? A: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
Q: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
Q: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse? A: No. Q: Did you check for blood pressure? A: No. Q: Did you check for breathing? A: No. Q: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy? A: No. Q: How can you be so sure, Doctor? A: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar. Q: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless? A: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
[And to think Marilyn the Chipmunk is gonna become one :)]♡V
Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.
Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:
"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"
He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"
"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.
Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"
Broken Coffee Table $239.99 Hot Breakfast $4.20 Two Aspirins $0.38 Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!
♡V
A little word from Johnny to start the day..
During one of her daily classes a teacher trying to teach good manners, asked her students the following question:
"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"
Michael said, "Just a minute I have to go pee."
The teacher responded by saying, "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Peter, how would you say it?" Peter said, "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. I'll be right back."
"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom at the dinner table
And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show Us your good manners?"
I would say: "Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope you'll get to meet after dinner."
The teacher fainted.
Hint to the losers:
When boys pee... what do they shake *smiles mischievously*
♡V
- Listen to the songs
- Read the posts
- Watch the videos
- Admire the pictures
- Bothered to tag without me telling them to
- Browse the Archives
Gee, I spend hours on my blog.
And I guess people don't really appreciate the effort.
They themselves spend so much time on their blogs.
And expect others to appreciate it.
But they forget to appreciate the blogs of others.
Well, did something out of boredom today...
Had no idea it'd turn into some vote thing::
Hope you guys like it =)
♡V
I woke up alive today.
I climbed down my ladder with my limbs.
I brushed my hair with a hairbrush.
I went downstairs using the staircase.
I ate McDonalds for breakfast without jam and pepper.
I used the computer for an hour.
I did a B&W picture for Mandy using Black&White.
I took my bath in the bathroom.
I changed into some clothes.
I turned off the computer by shutting it down.
I went to my Aunt's house.
I stoned for a few hours without moving.
I went home for dinner without taking dinner there.
I had strawberries for dessert.
I plucked beansprouts.
I watched a TVdrama on TV.
I used the computer to do things.
I am blogging about my life now.
I will sleep soon.
How was that for a try, Mary? =)
♡V