I feel like God or karma or whatever out there is making this particularly painful for me because I did something wrong by wanting to pursue theatre, that because I am not listening to my parents and honouring thy father and mother, I have to bear all this weight on my own.
I am so scared of NYU and NAC and rejection. I am so scared of my limits.
What if this is the best I can go? Who can I talk to?
Why must she enter my life?
What did I do to deserve this?
What did she do to deserve this?
This isn't fair.
God please help me. Or at the very least stop punishing me.
I can't talk to anyone about this.
The pressure is so great but the reality is so possible.
What does she have that I don't?
How dare she. How dare she.
I hate her. So. Much.
And I hate how much I love him.
I deserve better.
Please let this work out one day.