ME: the FILM DIRECTOR CAKE?
Kirti: yes
Me: AWESOME. I want a cool cake like that. make me a cake of the esplanade. tell hilary xD make it low fat as well. and uh, healthy (:
Kirts: haha suree. suuuure.
Me: you know you want to ;D I'll make you a cake in the shape of or aang's big head ;D
Kirts: haha nop, I want a zuko cake or, erm, a disney anything disneyyy
Me: well one side of his face will be... jam. hannah montana cake it is.
Kirts: HAHAHAHA. NO WAY NOT HER. not on my cake. erm how about tangled. I haven't even seen it, but I know i will love it. okay just stick to zuko. i want the jam on the cake now.
Me: I had jam with yogurt the other day. for fun. and yes I do love weird food, but this bordered on DIABETIC.
Kirts: your idea of fun is amazing.
hahaha been a long time since I last spoke to Kirts.
She's coming back soon and joining me in prison x.x school :D
I missed the opportunity to run today.
DAMMIT.
I mean the weather sucked, but hell I had time to run. AND I DIDN'T.
At least I've been walking places during the holidays so I'm not THAT BAD.
but still, feel like cellulite now. it's way past feeling like shit.
then I remembered that I had a few blisters on my heels so that means I couldn't run anyways.
Then I felt terrible because my blisters take long to heal and that means I can't run for a few weeks.
FML
still apprehensive towards school
but it's only one way, and I'm on steroids, so go me.
♡V
I mean honestly I'm the only teenager I know who has fat all over her body but at her boobs.
Lord if you want me to suffer with cellulite, please grant me some cleavage.
Or take away all the fat on my body.
And I don't get how I'm supposed to feel better about what others say.
"You're not that fat" --> this means I'm fat, just not that. Same thing.
"You're not that ugly" --> this means I'm ugly, just not that, Same thing.
how is this supposed to make me feel better?
and anyways saying "you're not fat" or "you're not ugly" is just lying to my face?
and have I told you how much I resent liars, even if their white or pretty and little?
WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH MY MACBOOK IT KEEPS SHUTTING DOWN OR BLANKING OUT AT RANDOM INTERVALS, IT HAS HAPPENED 4 TIMES SINCE 1 DECEMBER AND I AM ROYALLY PISSED BECAUSE I'VE ONLY HAD THIS MACBOOK SINCE SEPTEMBER?! WTF IS WRONG WITH THIS STUPID THING.
I don't have body issues, I don't have mental issues,
I know what I look like. I do NOT look stunning.
Stalk me on facebook and risk puking.
I want her back I want her back I want her back
^ I know this doesn't sound right but there are different ways to read the above statement.
(like, I want her purse)
ARGH I CAN'T WAIT TO LIVE ON MY OWN.
my house will be so awesome.
Camus here I come.
♡V
there's a fine line between BRAVERY and BAD DRESSING.
NO ONE HAS ANY IDEA HOW MUCH I LOVE HUGS. I LOVE HUGS AS MUCH AS I AGNES LOVES UNICORNS. I LOVE HUGS AS MUCH AS I LOVE GREEN TEA AND LOW FAT YOGURT AND SOY BEAN AND I WILL NEVER GET SICK OF HUGS :D :D :D
argh I'm blogging halfway and my stupid macbook jams up all of a sudden and I have to restart.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY MACBOOK!!!
the last time it happened was about a week ago right after I saved my presentation (thank God I did)
so this post is actually a replacement for my long post about something I wanted to rant about.
fughganrflalrfanlva
so much for AUTOSAVE, BLOGGER. DAMN YOU.
FML of the Day::
I think GMH is responsible for my crash because I was reading it halfway when my stupid system shut down. and I just went to the page and my safari jammed for a bit.
I swear if I could I'd hack this thing to pieces.
♡V
argh I'm blogging halfway and my stupid macbook jams up all of a sudden and I have to restart.
WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH MY MACBOOK!!!
the last time it happened was about a week ago right after I saved my presentation (thank God I did)
so this post is actually a replacement for my long post about something I wanted to rant about.
fughganrflalrfanlva
so much for AUTOSAVE, BLOGGER. DAMN YOU.
FML of the Day::
I think GMH is responsible for my crash because I was reading it halfway when my stupid system shut down. and I just went to the page and my safari jammed for a bit.
I swear if I could I'd hack this thing to pieces.
♡V
"this is the only production that I don't feel happy doing"
and he was doing it for passion
I kind of know why he'd say that, it probably didn't even involve me
but it still kinda hurt because I know I can bring a kind of energy and mood to things to make people enjoy what they're doing and it seems like I've failed miserably this time.
and it just cuts me because I'm losing my touch. or not giving my best.
I honestly don't know which is it.
today is the last day of filming and I don't even feel like I'm gonna miss anything
it was fun, but I am so detached from the group and everything
like even though we do stuff off set together I still don't connect with them
this is the first production I've had out of SOTA which I feel no connection to
Narnia didn't count because I already hated it from the 2nd rehearsal.
not like I've done many productions but S+S felt like a breakup and T:C was quite ): and Paper Boxes was somewhere in between.
and hell to be honest I've actually felt quite alone during this production
they aren't great actors in my opinion, like there's really so much more we can bring to the film than we've been doing and I don't even want to suggest anything because I don't feel anything for the production at all.
I must admit they can be quite dedicated to a scene. quite. they just limit themselves because of their idiosyncracies or their ego or whatever.
of course I have my flaws as well but I acknowledge them and try to get past it.
this will be my last production for the next 2 years unless my dad says otherwise.
Lord please let me do more of these. I don't mind not making any friends on production as long as the money rolls in and the director knows me.
oh and seeing the both of them talk to the director made me so envious.
I didn't know people could arrive at that stage in the sg industry and they did.
I am so so envious. I think it's because I treat everything professionally as well.
arghfughshight.
♡V
and he was doing it for passion
I kind of know why he'd say that, it probably didn't even involve me
but it still kinda hurt because I know I can bring a kind of energy and mood to things to make people enjoy what they're doing and it seems like I've failed miserably this time.
and it just cuts me because I'm losing my touch. or not giving my best.
I honestly don't know which is it.
today is the last day of filming and I don't even feel like I'm gonna miss anything
it was fun, but I am so detached from the group and everything
like even though we do stuff off set together I still don't connect with them
this is the first production I've had out of SOTA which I feel no connection to
Narnia didn't count because I already hated it from the 2nd rehearsal.
not like I've done many productions but S+S felt like a breakup and T:C was quite ): and Paper Boxes was somewhere in between.
and hell to be honest I've actually felt quite alone during this production
they aren't great actors in my opinion, like there's really so much more we can bring to the film than we've been doing and I don't even want to suggest anything because I don't feel anything for the production at all.
I must admit they can be quite dedicated to a scene. quite. they just limit themselves because of their idiosyncracies or their ego or whatever.
of course I have my flaws as well but I acknowledge them and try to get past it.
this will be my last production for the next 2 years unless my dad says otherwise.
Lord please let me do more of these. I don't mind not making any friends on production as long as the money rolls in and the director knows me.
oh and seeing the both of them talk to the director made me so envious.
I didn't know people could arrive at that stage in the sg industry and they did.
I am so so envious. I think it's because I treat everything professionally as well.
arghfughshight.
♡V
I feel like shit right now because it took me a half-hour cab ride home to convince myself not to eat anything and just take a bath and go straight to sleep.So everything's fine until I enter my room and my sister groans at me for turning on the lights.
And she tells me to be back in half an hour because she'll be asleep by then.
WTF I GO STRAIGHT DOWN TO THE KITCHEN AND RAID THE DAMN FRIDGE.
I'm too ashamed to even list down what I ate.
I probably ate like half my total calorie consumption in this sitting alone.
I know I shouldn't even be ranting about it because we need about 2000 calories a day on the average and I'm pretty sure I didn't hit the 1000-calorie mark today.
But hell who eats at 1am when they are supposed to be losing weight
and I've only been awake for about 12 hours (it's almost 3 on my clock now) so I shouldn't even be eating a day's worth of calories.
And the thing is I know I could have gone without the food I ate.
Just sleep it off I'll be fine.
BUTNOIHADTOFRICKINEATANDNOWIHAVETOSUFFER.
At this rate I can totally forget about enjoying myself during Christmas
because I really don't have time for proper cardio and I don't dare do sit ups without cardio.
ARGHFML
oh and I'm not getting the bicycle pedal anymore, it's just gonna enlarge my already huge and bulging thigh muscles.
JUST THE WAY YOU ARE BY BRUNO MARS ANNOYS ME BECAUSE IT SOUNDS LIKE CRAP WITHOUT THE MUSIC.
oh oh oh
all my books have arrived and I'm so so so happy :D
I was so afraid of damaging any part of the book (except the spine, because I think having creases at the spine gives me more ownership of the book :)) that I used the envelopes the books arrived in to make a book jacket.
Can't decide whether I should make my next design a hamburger, something cubist or a fusion of African and Aboriginal art.
holy crap I just scratched my arm because it was itchy and immediately 4 deep red lines appeared what is wrong with my body omg
I should start following new people on tumblr/twitter.
♡V
 |
| THIS. IS. A CAKE. ZOMG. |
Unlike T:C I don't have the "I wouldn't trade the world for them" mindset at all though xD
I don't mind not working with them after this but one thing's for sure,
this has got to be the best way to spend this week of the holiday for me.
I'm gonna have to choose between Crystle's party and 6.3 outing now.
It all comes down to hanging out with Erica or getting a tan.
on another note,
I don't know if my dad will think I'm crazy if I buy a gym pedal for my table.
It's approx SGD$75 and it'll be under my table if I get it.
I've been buying more than usual lately
like my >$80 awesomesauce monster case (which was actually a present but I chose it)
and the $35 fake leather bag which I am extremely proud of
and well, I'm sure there are others.
And this is quite pricey
of course this could come right out of my own pocket but it's still his house
and he might explode since I can "always use the gym".
But if I get it I can use it WHILE STUDYING
and IB isn't the most relaxing course in the world.
And my fat brother can use it
it's portable.
Hell I'll bring it up to my mom first, before CHRISTMAS :D
I think the tan can wait (:
♡V
1. I don't know if it is lonely at the top. Does it really have to be?
2. My life would definitely be a lot more exciting with a bb.
3. The thing about lies is the longer you keep it the worse the consequences get.
4. I'm still trying to figure out why it's so hard to connect.
5. Sometimes I think they aren't worth it.
6. That close.
7. Got a secret can you keep it swear this one you'll save.
8. time passes so bloody slowly when you're tired. or bored. or alone.
9. Not exercising makes me feel like shit.
10. Of course I try to walk as much as I can. Not like it makes a difference.
11. I NEED A NEW MUSIC PLAYER, which takes me back to point 2.
12. Damned internet.
13. Damned bookdepository website, y u no load.
14. Honestly can't wait to live on my own.
15. Better lock it in your pocket taking this one to the grave.
16. I really can't do anything for a living. There isn't a single payable quality about me.
17. I feel better knowing that they oversold her, she actually isn't that great.
18. He is quite bad at acting, I think I have enough standards to deem it so.
19. I am so annoyed because I can't find my quilt.
20. I just realised that I read .org as .orG in my head. So if I were to say it out loud, it'd be ORGY.
21. Would you rather eat free unhealthy food or spend money on healthy food for 8 days?
22. I really have to reset my body clock, will watch shows to prolong my waking hours.
23. Openness decreased. Neuroticism increased.
24. Despite the setbacks I still think that I am a fun person to be with.
25. It's hard to accept yourself when few accept you. Or maybe you should accept yourself first.
26. I really want to sleep now but I can't /:
27. I still feel bad for pouring sand into his mouth even though it was an accident, and his fault.
28. Emmy Rossum, noice.
29. I don't need more acquaintances, I need good friends.
30. My brother's first phone is cooler than all my 5 phones combined.WTH is this logic.
31. I know who deserves the His Royal Douchebag of the year award.
32. WTF I'm still pissed off about my quilt.
33. On a good day, I think school is fine as long as your friends are there.
34. On a bad day it's like screw having friends if you have to go to school to see them.
35. Screw staying up I'm gonna sleep.
♡V
 |
| there's a light of each end of this tunnel you shout 'cuz you're just as far in as you'll ever be out |
It's so hilarious how events unfolded from May to August, from not even knowing his name to knowing one of his largest secrets.
and I think not working with him after such intense rehearsals and performances must have been one of the hardest things I've had to go through so far, because he really was fun to horse around with.
He always comes into my mind when I think of how I want my life to be, because I want his life.
I would state his name but that might be quite revealing.
I'm always comparing myself to him because I think he's incredible.
Started off in athletics, made it onto the ASEAN team, can play a few instruments, sang in a professional choir, hosted for a local radio station, and other small cool details like he can recite the pledge in tamil, he can play the hardest drum rhythm, he imitates people well.
And he's smooth. Character wise.
Just like my dad, he knows how to work with people.
Sounds like a lot on his plate, but he barely seems stressed and always smiles.
He's 20.
Basically his life seems perfect (well from what I've stated, his life seems absolutely marvelous)
and I feel so envious of him and I think his life is great and I really really want to lead it.
In my state of jealousy of course I say something like "there definitely is something God didn't let him have"
and then I remembered,
his mom passed away when he was a kid.
A mother has got to be the greatest gift a child could ever have,
and he had to grow up without one.
karma-wise, all his achievements are like compensation for the loss of his mother.
He made it onto the ASEAN team, and his mom wasn't there to see it.
He can play a few instruments, and his mom wasn't there to hear it.
He sang in a professional choir, and his mom couldn't attend.
He hosted for a local radio station, and his mom wasn't there to listen every Saturday morning.
and this got me thinking,
sure I'd love to do everything he can do, but how much of it is worth not having my mom around?
what if tomorrow my mom disappeared and over the next few years I got everything he had?
How can I live with all my achievements knowing that I gave my mom up for them?
and this totally destroys me
because I value being worth something to myself as much as having my mom around.
what if I end up being a good for nothing, with nothing to show my mom?
what if my mom is never proud of what I do?
Would I still choose my mom over my friend's life?
The devil tells me she's just one person.
With all the things I can do without her, so what if she isn't there, think of how many people I can influence and inspire.
Think of how invincible I can be with that amount of talent.
The thing is my friend is brilliant, he just doesn't know it, and if he did and really pushed himself, he would be phenomenal.
I know if I had what he has I would definitely use it so much better.
All the fame and fortune, for one simple exchange: my mother.
She's just one person but I'd never trade her for the world.
Did I just type that?
There are only a few people in my life
(and I really mean a few)
whom I would NEVER EVER trade for the world.
And I never knew my mom was one of them.
I'm always thinking of friends, and I forgot one of the most important figures in my life.
Without her, I'm nothing.
Without her, I'm NOTHING.
WITHOUT HER, I'M NOTHING.
Every single day I pray that one day she will be proud of me.
It's so scary how much she affects me without even trying.
♡V
Hope the toilets are great (:
what a whirlwind of a week,
I've been so busy having fun or just being busy that I'm sleep deprived.
which leads to fugly hair, fugly complexion and fugly body.
but my has been great despite my fugly appearance.
and that barely happens.
and I'm going to church tomorrow because I want to thank Him for a lot of things.
there are so many things I complain about, but underneath all that there are so many things to be grateful about.
Trying to revamp my table as much as possible.
I've finally had enough of being who I am and living like me.
I don't hate myself or anything, I'm just bored with me.
so I've made huge changes that still takes getting used to and changed minute details that nobody notices but makes me feel different anyhoo
and these changes are not reckless, they have been carefully considered and weighed.
Is it worth the risk? How long before I regret? Am I really sure? Is there another way? etc.
and from this I'm just rediscovering myself.
I definitely feel extremely awkward with the difference despite trying to make it as gradual as possible
but I am confident that the decisions I make are going to do me well.
you won't find me a stranger if you haven't seen me in a while
I'm pretty sure of that (:
this vacation has been absolutely fabulous.
possible the best of my high school years.
4, 1, 2, 3 in that order.
I hope it keeps getting better.
still apprehensive towards IB, but fingers crossed!
love love love you guys <33
♡V
today has got to be one of the most productive days of my year end vacation 2010.
got 42% of the week's to-do list done.
all in a day :D
I think today would have been twice as wonderful if I had enough time to get a good workout.
I put on weight again, it's now a whole pound from my previous measurement which was on Thursday.
I'm so freaking terrible to only be exercising once a week and really so much for Project 40.
My weight fluctuates and it scares me. Maybe because I weigh myself at different times of the day, and it only varies by a few hundred grams
but if I don't treat it seriously then well I might as well stay ugly for the rest of my life.
Erica was so nice to me today :)
today was my bad hair day and bad complexion day and fugly day
it only became my fat day after dinner
but the first thing she said to me was that I looked so pretty :D
awwwhhh Erica I love you!!!!
no really and I'm gonna miss you when you leave ):
I really need more sleep. I eat less that way.
tomorrow, let's hope I enjoy tomorrow.
wish they holidayed longer!
♡V
got 42% of the week's to-do list done.
all in a day :D
I think today would have been twice as wonderful if I had enough time to get a good workout.
I put on weight again, it's now a whole pound from my previous measurement which was on Thursday.
I'm so freaking terrible to only be exercising once a week and really so much for Project 40.
My weight fluctuates and it scares me. Maybe because I weigh myself at different times of the day, and it only varies by a few hundred grams
but if I don't treat it seriously then well I might as well stay ugly for the rest of my life.
Erica was so nice to me today :)
today was my bad hair day and bad complexion day and fugly day
it only became my fat day after dinner
but the first thing she said to me was that I looked so pretty :D
awwwhhh Erica I love you!!!!
no really and I'm gonna miss you when you leave ):
I really need more sleep. I eat less that way.
tomorrow, let's hope I enjoy tomorrow.
wish they holidayed longer!
♡V
I wonder if it'll seem terrible of me if I watched a show from my macbook on the bus home tomorrow.
I think it will /:
Maybe if no one's on the bus I'll try it out :D
gonna take my macbook out for the first time in ages for theatre research tomorrow.
I hope this is worth it in more ways than one.
and my monster case is coming!!!!
so I'm quite excited. just praying like mad that I don't drop the case or I might die of shock.
I THINK I WILL COMMIT A MASSACRE IF
MY MOM DOESN'T GET ME EDIBLE
FOOD.
YES, EDIBLE FOOD.
SOME THINGS ARE INEDIBLE YET
PEOPLE CONSIDER THEM FOOD.
QUEER.
sometimes I wish my parents gave me an extra $50 a week to get my own food.
I'd use my money so well.
stupid psp memory card giving me problems
and I'm so pissed off because I can't find my camera charger
and I'm pretty sure I brought it back from London, because I keep a frigging checklist of
EVERYTHING.
can't wait to get a new phone because the current one is shit.
TECHNOLOGY HATES ME D;
loads of things to say and share but meh, I value sleep more.
xxxx
♡V
I think it will /:
Maybe if no one's on the bus I'll try it out :D
gonna take my macbook out for the first time in ages for theatre research tomorrow.
I hope this is worth it in more ways than one.
and my monster case is coming!!!!
so I'm quite excited. just praying like mad that I don't drop the case or I might die of shock.
I THINK I WILL COMMIT A MASSACRE IF
MY MOM DOESN'T GET ME EDIBLE
FOOD.
YES, EDIBLE FOOD.
SOME THINGS ARE INEDIBLE YET
PEOPLE CONSIDER THEM FOOD.
QUEER.
sometimes I wish my parents gave me an extra $50 a week to get my own food.
I'd use my money so well.
stupid psp memory card giving me problems
and I'm so pissed off because I can't find my camera charger
and I'm pretty sure I brought it back from London, because I keep a frigging checklist of
EVERYTHING.
can't wait to get a new phone because the current one is shit.
TECHNOLOGY HATES ME D;
loads of things to say and share but meh, I value sleep more.
xxxx
♡V
 |
| Sun been down for days |
 |
| A pretty flower in a vase |
 |
| A slipper by the fireplace |
 |
| A cello lying in its case |
♡V
just shaved my legs for the first time
and I never knew my legs could look like that really.
they look all glossy and nice
but on closer look I see some stubble.
I feel quite scared though.
like what if my hair becomes stubble or I get ingrown hair
or my pores get bigger
or my legs get uglier
I'm so so scared
but I'm willing to sacrifice the time and money to shave my legs from now on
so yeah.
shiny legs here I come.
it's just so sad that I finally caved in after holding out for so long
but having hair is really affecting me so I guess I made a good choice.
or so I hope.
will see how it goes yeah.
no idea who to tell though.
I think I'll wear a skirt tomorrow?
then denim on monday.
yup.
will see how it goes.
see if they like it (:
♡V
and I never knew my legs could look like that really.
they look all glossy and nice
but on closer look I see some stubble.
I feel quite scared though.
like what if my hair becomes stubble or I get ingrown hair
or my pores get bigger
or my legs get uglier
I'm so so scared
but I'm willing to sacrifice the time and money to shave my legs from now on
so yeah.
shiny legs here I come.
it's just so sad that I finally caved in after holding out for so long
but having hair is really affecting me so I guess I made a good choice.
or so I hope.
will see how it goes yeah.
no idea who to tell though.
I think I'll wear a skirt tomorrow?
then denim on monday.
yup.
will see how it goes.
see if they like it (:
♡V
gonna make this quick because I really want to sleep
I didn't know I was so drained until my mom told me that I am not allowed to exercise and
I HAVE TO SLEEP.
(not that I've been drained due to exercise. psht I wish)
can't sleep yet though,
I have a whole list of to-dos for today and actually the entire week
and it's already wednesday.
gulp.
if I don't get anything done this week then next week has to be Social STD week again, with visits from people of course (:
[a very wonderful asshole of a friend will experience tremendous schadenfreude when he finds out]
today I finally realised why I don't feel like bathing sometimes.
think about it:
if you had to touch a body like mine every day you'd rather die.
I'm pretty brave in this context.
if you don't want to live anymore but you know death is not worth it,
SLEEP.
God please help me through this.
xxxx
♡V
I didn't know I was so drained until my mom told me that I am not allowed to exercise and
I HAVE TO SLEEP.
(not that I've been drained due to exercise. psht I wish)
can't sleep yet though,
I have a whole list of to-dos for today and actually the entire week
and it's already wednesday.
gulp.
if I don't get anything done this week then next week has to be Social STD week again, with visits from people of course (:
[a very wonderful asshole of a friend will experience tremendous schadenfreude when he finds out]
today I finally realised why I don't feel like bathing sometimes.
think about it:
if you had to touch a body like mine every day you'd rather die.
I'm pretty brave in this context.
if you don't want to live anymore but you know death is not worth it,
SLEEP.
God please help me through this.
xxxx
♡V
I think I'm changing.
And it's kinda scaring me, because I'm changing into someone I was pretty sure I would never be.
I've always told others "well if you don't want to then don't, what's so hard about it?"
so I'm applying my own words of wisdom to myself
and see where it takes me.
Wish me luck /:
On another issue,
I don't get how people can live with cellulite really.
I looked at my legs today
(not INSPECTED, I LOOKED. Like literally took a look)
and got such a shock from all the cellulite.
So awful.
And every time I sit down I wish I could cut my belly out.
Like if it was scientifically possible to use a chopper and just slice the damn thing off I would.
This weather is really unpredictable for activity.
Every time I plan to run it frigging rains
and I don't have a gym nearby.
I truly believe that a private gym will make me look so much better
a lot of people say "nawh you just end up taking it for granted"
but really I'll use it as much as I can.
I do that to all the things I NEED.
The past few days living alone has been so fantastic.
Parents were in Kota Kinabalu,
I succeeded in getting my brother to bunk with my cousins
and my sister had to work consecutive long shifts.
Having the house to myself was so fun :D
I was out most of the time of course
but I didn't have to eat anything I didn't want to,
or take turns to use the bathroom
or anything really.
I was a free bitch babaye!
I don't know why people who live alone complain. Really I don't.
Yes if you count in the rent and all that blah blah blah it might start to suck a little
but I think the rent is really a worthy exchange for A PLACE TO STAY and FREEDOM, no?
This past 4 days (Sat to Tues) has been such a whirlwind experience for me
Lord I can't wait for it to happen again :D
not when the school term starts though, I need someone to take me to prison.
xxx
MLIA of the Day::
Today I failed my roadtest for the third time. Seeing me bummed out, the instructor put his hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry son even Spongebob hasn't past his roadtest yet." Best. Failure. Ever. MLIA
♡V
And it's kinda scaring me, because I'm changing into someone I was pretty sure I would never be.
I've always told others "well if you don't want to then don't, what's so hard about it?"
so I'm applying my own words of wisdom to myself
and see where it takes me.
Wish me luck /:
On another issue,
I don't get how people can live with cellulite really.
I looked at my legs today
(not INSPECTED, I LOOKED. Like literally took a look)
and got such a shock from all the cellulite.
So awful.
And every time I sit down I wish I could cut my belly out.
Like if it was scientifically possible to use a chopper and just slice the damn thing off I would.
This weather is really unpredictable for activity.
Every time I plan to run it frigging rains
and I don't have a gym nearby.
I truly believe that a private gym will make me look so much better
a lot of people say "nawh you just end up taking it for granted"
but really I'll use it as much as I can.
I do that to all the things I NEED.
The past few days living alone has been so fantastic.
Parents were in Kota Kinabalu,
I succeeded in getting my brother to bunk with my cousins
and my sister had to work consecutive long shifts.
Having the house to myself was so fun :D
I was out most of the time of course
but I didn't have to eat anything I didn't want to,
or take turns to use the bathroom
or anything really.
I was a free bitch babaye!
I don't know why people who live alone complain. Really I don't.
Yes if you count in the rent and all that blah blah blah it might start to suck a little
but I think the rent is really a worthy exchange for A PLACE TO STAY and FREEDOM, no?
This past 4 days (Sat to Tues) has been such a whirlwind experience for me
Lord I can't wait for it to happen again :D
not when the school term starts though, I need someone to take me to prison.
xxx
MLIA of the Day::
Today I failed my roadtest for the third time. Seeing me bummed out, the instructor put his hand on my shoulder and said "Don't worry son even Spongebob hasn't past his roadtest yet." Best. Failure. Ever. MLIA
♡V