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Sunday, July 25, 2010



A whirlwind 2 months I swear.
Right after R&J and it was just BAM! into Bago,
and I came back from Bago and was so caught up with rehearsals and catching up with my family and friends and then BAM! into London,
and it was great there but not as spectacular as I'd expected, still, I'm grateful.
couldn't do all my graded assignments because the promised MacBooks didn't happen
so I was just stressed up to my wits.

came back 2 days before school started,
jetlagged and rushing to rehearsals at the wrong time of day
and getting "not impressed" looks from Grace,
finished IRE and 2 essay drafts in 2 days.
And then re-prioritised my schedule
and just kept working every night.

I had an average of what, 30 hours of sleep a week?
Cranky as hell, pissed my parents off because of that.
They still don't know that kids HAVE to do research, that's why they use their computer.
doesn't mean their eldest daughter uses her laptop to watch Bones and House during her exam
period, their youngest daughter is on facebook 24/7
Social life literally non-existent.
then the report card.
omfg. parents really need to look on the bright side sometimes.

I can bitch about 2010 and my results for hours, don't get me started.
unless if you're really bored and are in the mood for something really
really angsty.

and rehearsals straight after school, can't do homework while waiting
because damned MacBooks weren't gonna happen anytime soon
and all work was typed
so reached home at 11 every night,
the pig in me had to eat, I'm disgusted to the max.
did homework until 2am, sometimes 3
slept till 6.
school at 8, and I never dozed off.
not once. I zoned out, like everyone else, but NEVER.
NEVER DOZED OFF.
why can't my parents see me in school, they'd be freaking proud.

I actually get Differentiation and Integration.
nobody can absorb maths when they're dying of fatigue and stress.
I did. parents be proud.
doesn't mean you screw up a graded paper you screw up everything else.
if only they could see the full marks I get on everything else.
diagnosed myself with Middle Child Syndrome after years of denial.

spent about 2 hours a week at Central Library
just doing research on the Holocaust
while trying to grasp the Peranakan culture at the same time
and getting used tot he new timetable
Nicholas thinks I don't have life?
well I don't. whatever.

handed in SRM, finally.
thanks to the boys for being so cooperative and not submitting their surveys.
some things are just out of your control you know?
and it's not like she's gonna be impressed since she doesn't really think much of me anyway.
and Theatre, omg what am I getting myself into.
thanks to Kirti for telling Ms Ng that I don't want to buy my textbooks and only know how to rip off her. yes, you mean it as a joke, Ms Ng doesn't know that.
and some families just had to have more than one kids,
they have three spoilt brats, and only the middle child can't get everything she wants

did chinese during every free period I had in school
in fact, I did all my homework every free period I had
hell how can someone like me not sleep in school
and still have more energy than nickrophilia huh.
I'm more responsible, I have an alarm clock now
it doesn't work for me, but hey at least I'm trying.

you know you hate school when you dread waking up.

and ARC research paper, FINALLY.FINALLY I handed it in.
this week was madness, essays essays directorial vision lit draft essays lines lines the arrangement six characters everything essays omg omg what the hell macbooks which I can't even afford half of but my dad would rather let me get the most expensive one
I still don't get his reasoning but how often does a dad let the middle child buy something that costly eh.

today's the first day in 70 days I sleep for more than 10 hours.
nick says you can never repay your sleep debt, but fyeah I did it.
I still have loads of things to work on
theatre section 2 wtf is a storyboardsomethingsomething?
and arc oral presentation and lit oral and ihss essay
and YOG's coming up excited yet scared at the same time
today's the last night of The Arrangement and I'm definitely gonna miss it.
I think I can take working life. IB really prepared me for it.
I'm a total success story ;D
(when my report card comes out, maybe not)

going to church next sunday just to thank God for this
maybe He wanted me to f up my midyears for a reason.
I'm still bloody sore about it but let's just hope my work pays off.
I don't know, I understood math and did the questions faster than kirts
and she has tuition well she's scholar and in the end she does better
but who cares I really think it's the end product people care about
but right now at this very moment, the hill is so worth the climb
I sound better than miley when I say that I swear.

I miss bus 12
but somehow I can't bring myself to take it anymore,
I just "have no time" anymore
NEmation 5 opened and I don't want to join it anymore,
better to leave on a high note y'know? and I miss Lofty so much now all of a sudden
and I don't think anybody believes that I feel guilty for not crying for Mr. G
part of me thinks he wouldn't have wanted me to, yet another tells me I should have.
that's what people do you know?
cry when someone leaves you without saying goodbye

I can't, that's weird.
I really need to, because I might implode from all the sadness and anger and frustration in me one day and I don't want that to happen. because it's not fair. for me or for anyone.
there are people who'll do whatever they can to make me have an ounce of feeling in me but all I do is harden up even more. right now all I see is my heart in a layer of oil.
wtf? it's so weird
but anyway yeah

hope we get into the gala finals,
facebook is overrated, twitter isn't fun when your phone has no internet access,
tumblr only makes me depressed contrary to popular belief
and blogging, well I haven't done it in a month
and it's probably the safest way for me to rant because I pretend that there's someone reading
and understanding what I want to say instead of shutting me up like in ARC class

haha ownage baby I can talk about that anytime I'm proud of it
but anyway yeah I won't blog much anymore because it's not benefitting me
or anyone and I'd rather do something more productive like take up dance class
LOL dance class if I can even differentiate my left foot from my right
haha differentiate get it okay I'm going nuts time to go back to do homework

can't go to singfest thanks to 6 characters
but it's okay, I'm not a concert person anyway.
one day I'll have my own teehee~ ;D
my life is average all right.

loves.

GMH of the Day::
Today I went shopping and I saw a tall girl wearing a cropped, strapless top. As I got closer I noticed that her entire body was covered in ugly burn scars. She walked down the street, ignoring all who stared, smiling to herself. I feel guilty for covering up the stretch marks on my thighs. She GMH

oh man on this topic
I'm just trying not to think about it because
my wonderful lying friends tell me I'm not fat or ugly and stuff like
that and well they don't have to lie to me but hey they mean well
so I'm just gonna shut up about it if it's gonna makes them lie to me less
I mean I can always slim down on my own, whining doesn't get anywhere
and I'll just head over to the clinic for some cosmetic surgery at the worst
but I might not in the end since it costs money and well I can always wear a mask or get long bangs haha whatever.

MLIA of the Day::
Today I realized how awesome it would be if there was a "Where's Waldo?" in Google earth. MLIA.


♡V