Tuesday, December 21, 2010
"this is the only production that I don't feel happy doing"
and he was doing it for passion
I kind of know why he'd say that, it probably didn't even involve me
but it still kinda hurt because I know I can bring a kind of energy and mood to things to make people enjoy what they're doing and it seems like I've failed miserably this time.
and it just cuts me because I'm losing my touch. or not giving my best.
I honestly don't know which is it.
today is the last day of filming and I don't even feel like I'm gonna miss anything
it was fun, but I am so detached from the group and everything
like even though we do stuff off set together I still don't connect with them
this is the first production I've had out of SOTA which I feel no connection to
Narnia didn't count because I already hated it from the 2nd rehearsal.
not like I've done many productions but S+S felt like a breakup and T:C was quite ): and Paper Boxes was somewhere in between.
and hell to be honest I've actually felt quite alone during this production
they aren't great actors in my opinion, like there's really so much more we can bring to the film than we've been doing and I don't even want to suggest anything because I don't feel anything for the production at all.
I must admit they can be quite dedicated to a scene. quite. they just limit themselves because of their idiosyncracies or their ego or whatever.
of course I have my flaws as well but I acknowledge them and try to get past it.
this will be my last production for the next 2 years unless my dad says otherwise.
Lord please let me do more of these. I don't mind not making any friends on production as long as the money rolls in and the director knows me.
oh and seeing the both of them talk to the director made me so envious.
I didn't know people could arrive at that stage in the sg industry and they did.
I am so so envious. I think it's because I treat everything professionally as well.
arghfughshight.
♡V