first time blogging from my phone.

Anyways imstuck in this stupid cycle which have to get out of
Everytime feel like I might have a shot at getting somewhere in life something comes along and screws it up
I can honestly say I'd rather live someone else's life right now.
The saddest thing is I never thought something like this will ever happen to me  but I suppose it was only a matter of time
I feel like a substitute.
People don't stick with me because they want to, it's because they would rather do it than something else, or be alone, or whatever.
And I get no respect everywhere I go
And whatever I do, no matter how hard try I'm destined to fail
Or ill never get recognition.
I feel like I'm surrounded by people who either don't care about me
Or want to see me fail
Because it makes them feel good or whatever, I have no idea.

Something good happens and everyone wants to tear me down
And I would be fine with it except for the fact that it only happens to me.
Everyone gets encouragement or compliments and I get insulted or attacked or put down and it isn't fair
I know life isn't fair, but I feel like I'm always on the unfair end of the deal and it's really something I feel I don't deserve.
Anyone reading this is gonna say I"m a weakling or something along those lines
But I'm definitely a lot stronger than you think.
If you were in my shoes you won't last this long.
It's like I am hit by some muscle degenerating disease and it's a long painful process that nobody will notice until it's too late

I think I'll graduate alone
And go to college alone
And get a job alone
And live alone
And die alone
Not only physically alone
But in the sense that no one is going to support me
Hah, if I manage to graduate in the first place.

I definitely am not self centered.
I do stick with people when their goings get tough
And they're fine now
And therefore I'm of no more use for them
And they chuck me aside
And now my going is getting tough
And I'm gonna have to do this alone.

What's the point of dying if I go to heaven alone
And go through eternity alone.
I'm just stuck in this world with everything against me.