I might disagree with this post in future but right now I'm pretty pissed off.

"The student shows some initiative and perseverance in meeting the specific requirements..."
HOW FUCKING DARE SHE.
I just want to scream in her face and rip her papers apart.

and there's more but I'm too worked up to type and everything's just stomping around in my head and sneering at me and yelling "told you you weren't good enough, told you you were a failure"

the worst thing is I can't tell anybody this because I can't even come to terms with how humiliating this is,
and if I were to tell somebody, I might end up screaming in their faces and ripping their papers apart
and nobody deserves this.
Nobody except that damned bitch who dared to say that about me after feeding me all her effing lies.

right now all I can think of-- yes, I'm literally thinking of it-- is holding a revolver at my neck and pulling the trigger. I can even imagine how it feels like, having that metal press against the thin skin just below my jaw, with my index touching the trigger but not exactly curling around it because my fingers are too short, and my thumb gripping the handle. And I swear I can hear the spring when I load the bullet, and all I'm waiting for now is for the courage to pull the damn trigger. I'm stalling time by twisting my wrist here and there to see which angle makes the revolver feel most comfortable at my neck.
I've been thinking about this for weeks, but right now, this image is vivid as fuck.

I'm such a coward. The only reason why I'm still alive is because I'm not brave enough to say "fuck this shit I'm outta here"