I think my body is a fighter.
I say "my body" not "I" because it's the subconscious part of me, the part that my mind doesn't control, which is the fighter.
I say this because I realise that just as everybody stops believing in me, instead of giving up, I'm still going on.
Everybody, as in every single living human, including me.
Even I don't have faith in myself and I'm still going
Some people say one can't live without hope.
I'M PROVING THEM WRONG AT THIS VERY SECOND.
I haven't heard a sincere form of encouragement in ages
Maybe I'm not listening. Then again, when your mind shuts down and stops hoping, what's the point in listening
But back to the point, I haven't heard anything positive directed at me in ages
besides shallow comments and hollow compliments
I don't remember ever having anyone look me in the eye within the past few years
and tell me something that is both positive and sincere. The last person was Grace.
That was a year ago, but she's a psychologist so she might have been cheating me, I never know would I.
But even with no hint of positivity and the world's share of negativity on me, my body isn't giving up.
My mind has already said "screw this", but I'm quite sure my body is refusing to listen, and it's just moving and moving and moving and fighting and fighting and fighting and it's not winning
it definitely isn't winning, but it's not really losing either.
It's a fighter.
I can feel it fighting, and my mind is just too beaten to join in
My body is doing all the work, fighting against all the negativity on its own.
My mind won't stop screaming "what's the point" but my body hasn't screamed anything.
It's just marching and marching, uphill, of course, but marching nonetheless
and it's carrying this huge load
this huge load of negativity, of failure, of everything the world has put on me
It's like Hercules carrying the Globe.
It's just carrying the weight on its shoulders and marching uphill
and every time it manages to get rid of some negativity, more immediately spring up and cling even harder.
I think it's going to lose
but that's just my mind speaking.
My body is moving on.