goddamnit it's 4.30 in the morning and I've been working the whole night only to realise that what I did was worthless so I deleted the whole chunk and am stuck with what I started with, but 4.5 hours later. What the hell I'm so fricking mad right now do people who work hard never get rewarded in this shit world?! I mean if this was a screwed up birthday card or something I wouldn't be the least ticked off, but hell this is my diploma grade and I'm being judged not just by the teachers but by people who hate me and want me dead and the last thing I want is to cement their reasons for feeling that way about me, and I've got other work to do and my time is running out. I truly think I've really been spending more time doing work than I should resting on a holiday I worked hard and deserved, and I'm sick of the entire world having a better life than me. Obviously I'm exaggerating here but I'm really so filled with rage so big that it can't seep through my pores and be expressed as healthy anger.
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