I have no fricking mood to work on my rationale now.
And I can't focus because it's eating at me and driving me nuts.
I know I'm making a decision I could potentially regret and I don't know why I'm doing this to myself.
It's not that I really need to get into the school, but taking another rejection is just so hard and so embarrassing and everything that I don't think I have the emotional and psychological capacity to handle at this moment. Maybe I'll do it because I'm not alone, but I'm so sure that at the end of the day I'm stuck between the devil and the deep blue sea.
How long will it take for me to recover?
Maybe I should just do it. Because if I hit rock bottom, the only way I can go is up, and at least I can say I "tried", if I am, and at least I learn from it instead of staying in my shell, and I don't know how long it'll take for me to get back on my feet but at least I know what it feels like to fall and next time I'll be able to handle it.