This blog is about to become a collection of things I wish I could say to you
But can't
Because these are words that come from the real me
And you hate the real me
But I'm so silly in love, I'm denying my true self just to keep you around.

Actually I think you've made me this way.

I just wanted to say that I'm terrified
Because after a year of being with you, I still don't know what you want from me
And I don't know if I'm giving you what you want
And somewhere out there, there is a girl who can do just that
But I've become so selfish, I don't want you to find her.

I wish you wouldn't threaten to leave so much.
You barely do it, but once is enough to stab me through the heart.
I don't threaten to leave you. I think of it, like you do, but I don't ever threaten to.
The going gets tough but I don't give you ultimatums.
I stick by you. I've stuck by you.
Now you're getting better and you need me less, which elates me,
But it feels as if not needing me means you don't want me anymore.
You're pulling away and building your walls bit by bit
Although you won't let me do the same
But I have to stand there and watch you leave me and not do a thing about it
Because I need to give you the space.
I just hope somewhere along the way you miraculously realise how much you hate space
And want me close.
Want me close.
Want me with you.