now I get why I wasn't happy with A:OC even though I loved Johnna.

Because he didn't seem to believe that I could play Violet. And I could.

People should really stop underestimating me. All the energy spent fighting to prove myself would be better used into achieving greater heights if people just helped me.


A nice journal entry from 1 April 2012:
One reason why I think college isn't worth the time and money is because I've had enough of being the person that's left out all the time.
Sure people do listen to me when I'm with them, then after we say goodbye it really is goodbye.
I don't want to be the loser in college who has no one to hang out with, I don't want to be the shortest girl who is always taken for granted simply because of my size. And perhaps race, depending on where I go.
I don't want to be stereotyped, and any attempt to break the stereotype just makes me stereotyped into the kind of people who is enforcing my identity on others.
Paying thousands of dollars to feel insignificant all over again and then spending the decade after working to pay off the loans is really not worth it.

I'd like to think that I deserve more than I currently have. Sometimes I believe that I'm being shortchanged. But I know I'm the kind of person who believes that you deserve what you get. So maybe my situation is really what I deserve.
Maybe I really am a boring, average, normal nobody who keeps insisting that there's something else inside of me that the world is too blind to see.
Who am I kidding but myself right.

Haunting.

Note to self: never forget your power.